Our Manifesto

We have a simple Manifesto:

The Single Person Driver in a car is King. If he should be White Male and Middle-Class so much the better.

Pedestrians are sad sacks and should keep out of the way of Cars. If you are one of these, always make sure all the Cars have gone past before you step out onto a pedestrian crossing or press the button on a Toucan. It is not acceptable to stop the progress of a Car just because you want to cross the Road. Pedestrians should be made to cross the road by means of a Subway (the darker and dingier the better, because this will encourage them to take up Driving) or a Bridge (the longer the better, for the same reason.)

Cyclists are all Lycra-clad Weirdos. If they get in the way of a Car it is OK to run them down. They should preferably be made to share the pavement with pedestrians and should be made to stop at all Side Roads in case a Car wants to come out.

Bus passengers are low-life. Buses rate lower than Cars in the Hierarchy of Motor Traffic because they carry more people, most of whom are Smelly. Buses should always wait for all the Cars to go past before they pull out.

Taxis are OK when they have no fares in them, bacause then they are Single Person Vehicles. As soon as a person gets in them they should be made to crawl along in the Gutter.

Trams should always travel along their own tracks off the road so as not to hold up the Cars.

Trains are good because they do not interfere with Cars. All Train Stations should have enormous Car Parks so Rich People can step straight from their Cars into their First Class carriages. However, Level Crossing gates should always be open to Cars so Trains have to stop and let all the Cars go by before they can cross.









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  1. Pingback: Drive To Work on Tuesday! | Hilly Laine

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